It’s NOT because
-you’re too lazy.
-have bad genes.
-lack the time
-or because you lack motivation
It’s because you don’t understand the archetypes that live within you.
And….it’s not your fault that you don’t know these archetypes exist.
However, if you truly desire to change, it is your responsibility to embody a new way of being.
It may not always be the easiest choice but it will help you get closer to your goals.
Understanding these archetypes will help bridge the gap between where you are at now and where you want to be.
This is just the beginning…...next week I am going to cover how to honor and implement these ways of being into your life.
If you desire to bring clarity towards accomplishing your goals as well as teach yourself to stand by your promises, join me with my 21 Days Fit Program.
It is open for enrollment and you have a few more days to secure your slot.
The number one thing I want you to focus on is showing up consistently! If you’re new to fitness or this is your 32nd time showing up to a program, this time is going to be different! We’ve all said this right?
The issue is when we think that this is going to be the end all be all. It’s different because you recognize this is lifelong. The different workout programs and workouts are offering you the guidance and support you’ve been looking for.
You have to show up today, exactly as you are, to do them.
Even while knowing it’s not going to be perfect!
I still remember my first days fumbling my way around the weight room watching people who I thought knew what they were doing.
Then I practiced the movements again and again until they felt better. Each day I showed up with the intent of being a little bit better. When I shifted my mindset to being a little bit better for me, everything changed.
I stopped showing up in fear of what other people thought.
I stopped worrying about who was judging me.
I allowed myself to enjoy the process.
So decide right here and now, that this is it.
This is the last time you question if you can do it.
You are strong, capable and now you are going to be consistent!
MY 8 TOP TIPS TO HELP YOU STICK WITH YOUR FITNESS ROUTINE!
1. Schedule your workouts ahead of time and don’t get overboard!
Plan for success: Focus on which days of the week you’re working out and choose ahead of time what type of workouts fit. PUT THIS ON YOUR CALENDAR! If you don’t make time for these workouts and dedicate yourself to showing up for yourself it won’t happen. It will be the last thing on that never-ending to-do list and it will never get done. This is so crucial for your success.
2. Ditch the all-or-nothing mentality. You can modify the workouts if you need to. Can’t jump or lunge? That’s fine! Pick a movement you can do! Don’t have the perfect equipment? Pick up a heavy bag of rice! Don’t have an hour on Monday to do the workout? That’s okay, set a timer for 30 minutes and finish what you can! This all-or-nothing mentality will keep you from ever getting to your goals. Show up as you are now, it doesn’t have to be perfect.
3.Get your form down! Recording yourself is an amazing tool! You also can use a mirror to see If you’re using the proper form. Being able to check in with your body is a beautiful thing. You can use this feedback to check the video demonstrations and aim to get a little better each day! Still, want more feedback? Post to one of the social groups!
4. Use the right amount of weight! If the weight feels too light, use a heavier weight! Don’t have a heavier weight? Increase the time under tension and hold the weight for longer. Simply squeezing and engaging the muscles more will help you drastically. If the weight feels too heavy decrease the number of reps.
5. Take a freaking rest day when you need to! You know your body, you can FEEL when you’re not pushing hard enough. You can also feel when you’re taking too many days off and need to show up more. Get really honest with yourself and you will know what you need.
6. Find the joy in movement. Your perspective going into your workouts make all the difference. It can be something you’re looking forward to or something you're dreading. Choose to make it something I look forward to every day. This is for you!
7. When in doubt, just move. Yes, move. Dance, play, bike, swim, walk. Anything! If a workout doesn’t align with what you need just make sure you move! This is about consistently showing up for yourself.
8. Don't take it too seriously. Often you will find me dancing in the weight room. It literally gets to be what you make it. Allowing myself to live in a state of complete joy brightens so many other peoples day. I know this because they tell me.
The best part? Me increasing my vibe for me allows others to increase their vibe too. When the goal is always me first. I literally had a 2x national body building champion told me I didn't need to wipe down the equipment because he didn't think I had cooties. The story you're creating about others judging you is a story.
I mean you never know what embracing your most goofy, fun, expressed self could really take you....
This all comes down to your personal goals, what you are learning to like, how much time you dedicate and make space for, and what equipment or household items you have to complete your routine.
If you desire to get back on track, to start a routine, or increase strength my 21 Day Fit Program starts 9-27-2021!
This program will help you self lead so you can
In my 8 plus years of coaching, I’ve heard just about every single reason why my clients aren’t reaching their goals. Below are a few of the following and you may be able to relate!
First off, I want to say your feelings are valid and the way you’re seeing the situation isn’t necessarily wrong. However, if you want to make drastic changes in your life you have to start with a shift in your perspective.
My desire in writing this blog for you is to see that you have more power than you give yourself credit for. I have been blown away by my client’s personal power through small micro shifts in their mindset, emotions, and actions.
If you truly embody some of these lessons you could completely shift your perception and action to create the body and mindset of your dreams.
1. I don’t have time- I have trained with multi-millionaires and single moms of 4. It may not be ideal or easy for you and I get that it may actually be more difficult for you. This is where you empower yourself to make the time for prioritizing your needs and desires and ditch perfectionism. My pro tip: Schedule your workout with the time of least disruption. This looks different for all of us and you know your schedule best. I highly encourage you to dive even deeper and sacrifice the hour of scrolling on social media or the Netflix series binging….. but is that really even a sacrifice?
2. I think it’s boring- I think of this like tracing letters in kindergarten, learning addition, or any task where the foundational principles feel so repetitive. The baseline of anything is always going to feel a little boring. That is, unless you choose to see it otherwise. Lifting, running, eating, working, and most of life is repetition. How you decide to honor and elevate that repetition is up to you. Plus, you get to decide if you put on Cardi B or Lizzo and dance in between. You get to choose to be excited about the body you’re building. You get to decide that this ultimately is going to change your life. Or you can decide it’s not exciting enough. You make the difference. Ps. Beyonce is a great choice too.
3. I’m self-conscious- I understand how painful it can be to not be comfortable in your own skin. I’ve been there and I hope you hear this with love and compassion. Your body and mind are a reflection of how you’ve treated yourself thus far. This is where you’re at now but it doesn’t always have to be that way. It is going to feel uncomfortable until you embody a new way of thinking, being, and acting. I know overweight women who OWN IT and I know in shape women who hate themselves and pick themselves apart. You get to decide how the journey looks for you. With one-one coaching, this is far a smoother journey but if you’re navigating this alone, give yourself some credit. As you develop self-trust and work yourself through the hard parts it becomes easier. You embody more of your desires because you’re no longer denying yourself the body and the dreams that you’ve always had. This will increase your confidence.
4. I’m too tired after work. I get it, there are days where I have a day full of presentations, content creations, and client calls. Sometimes I am too tired, too, and you know what I do? I show up. I give it all I have while taking care of myself. If this is a chronic issue for you look at where you’re putting out too much energy people-pleasing or over giving, this is a whole other topic. So I ask, Is it in trying to convince your boss something? Is it fighting with your spouse? Is it mac & cheese and ice cream most nights? Where can you honor yourself more so you can devote more time to taking care of what matters most to you? Start to get really in tune where you’re outputting too much mental and emotional energy. Seriously no judgment here I am a recovering people pleaser. P.s. do you still like me!? (Jk and I love you either way.)
5. I’m lazy. First of all, no, and stop labeling yourself lazy! You are not lazy. You are excelling in many areas of your life. Maybe you’re a mom, a CEO, a fashionista, a social butterfly, an assistant, or an amazing companion. There are parts of your life where you ultimately thrive! You just think that you’re lazy in this area because you haven’t figured out how to form a habit around it. You keep repeating the starting process where you feel sore and demotivated because you slipped up once. Once you get over the first few weeks of the learning and foundational phase you are much more likely to be set up for ultimate success. You just decide to become the person who is the “fit person” and you keep repeating that process. (The boring part right? Where you love yourself unconditionally.)
6. I tried it before and it didn’t work. Yes, you probably tried it with an all-or-nothing mentality. You probably said you were going to give up everything in your lifestyle like happy hour, binge-watching Netflix, scrolling through Instagram, and people pleasing. One thing at a time. This goes for all of us. We can approach all of these at once but understand that life is like a game of shoots and ladders. Sometimes you text your ex and you have to repeat the same lesson. It’s all good. Just because you texted him or had that serving of cake doesn’t mean you have to self-sabotage and hang out with him or finish off the next 8 slices. I promise, even if you do, it’s all good. Once you instill the belief that your evolution is a no matter what deal and your love is unconditional you’ll stop being so hard on yourself. You can give yourself more grace and embody the person you are becoming.
7. My family and friends aren’t supportive. You probably have shown them that you can’t trust yourself or you just have lived a lifestyle that doesn’t support your new one. No matter what it is for you that you desire in this life you have to believe it first, no matter what. The only person that ultimately needs to believe this is you. If you really don’t have a support system I highly encourage you to surround yourself with more people who believe in the same things. Your family and happy hour friends don’t have to believe in this goal but you do.
You can join my community or apply for 1-1 coaching if you desire more support and guidance. This can make a world of a difference when you start to lose sight of your belief in yourself and your goals.
The possibilities are endless when you show up in your self-leadership for sustainability.
When you start creating excuses when it all can’t work promise me you’ll take a step back just to see how with a simple shift, it all can work out.
You deserve it.
When life doesn't match what we think it should be we typically result to blaming others, people, places, circumstances, or ourselves.
Blaming ourselves usually has a ripple effect if we sit in it. So while blaming feels good at the moment it is ultimately the path of least resistance to self-destruction and I think I can vouch in saying no one wants that.
It's easy to fully immerse ourselves in shame if we give power to the narrative that doesn't serve us. Our ultimate breakthrough comes in through a change in how we see things. How we perceive life itself and the situation we're in.
No matter how uncomfortable it may be for us. When life doesn't match what we think it should be or has to be it has the potentiality to create a lot of pain in our lives. So what are our choices when life doesn't match our desired reality?
1) Blame- self-destruction
2) Change your thoughts and actions that follow those thoughts
3) Change your story and expectations in the current moment
Obviously, I'm a fan of 2 & 3 so that is what we will cover.
2) When you change your thoughts you change the actions that follow.
When you have a goal of losing 20 pounds it's really easy to get lost in the sauce. My desire for you is that you meet yourself where you're at. The goal is great but we need to first build your confidence to walk on the gym floor so you feel like a bad B instead of a person riddled with fear and anxiety. Mastering this step will allow you to show up in peace, you will show up more often and inevitably, you will reach your goal faster because you're not fighting yourself.
3) A new story breeds new results. Old story breeds old results.
But I should be thinner now! I should have the confidence now! I am so stupid. Mmmm no. Your thoughts, beliefs, and stories have to lead you to this exact moment. Maybe you went through a breakup, maybe you haven't told anyone about your binging so it becomes cyclical, maybe you've only hired coaches who say it's all or nothing and promised you 200 pounds of weight loss in 5 minutes. Your story gets to change. You get to be rooted in your belief that where you are at is okay. What is most important is that you find peace from within. What is most valued by you is that you treat yourself with kindness and self-care. You get to decide that the story is that you're going to grow forever and that now is the best time to finally enjoy the journey. The journey between where you are at now and where you desire to be can feel lonely, it can be overwhelming and just downright miserable.
Or you can gain the support and guidance you desire to flourish in the personal power that you decide is most important.
If you're looking to up level your confidence body-mind & soul please fill out the application below.
Learning how to love yourself “should” be easy right?
We grow up with conflicting feelings and beliefs about ourselves. We are taught that it is wrong to do certain things or act in certain ways that push us out of alignment with our truth.
It’s as if the need for validation and acceptance from the outside world is met with this conflicting rejection of who we are at our very core.
In learning that we aren’t allowed to be what we innately feel, we keep things hidden.
We lose trust in ourselves, we hire coaches to make friends on a superficial level. The people around us are only allowed to see the tip of the iceberg and your truth is 90 percent of what makes you, you.
It feels as if only my friends, family, and outside world knew the truth about my……. you fill in the blank.
It can be incredibly painful for those of us who allow us to be fully seen.
Fully being seen gives others the chance to fully reject us.
If we only allow others to see parts of us, they can’t reject all of us. So we disallow ourselves to be seen in our entirety.
It can be difficult to open up and be vulnerable when there is no guarantee of love, acceptance, or understanding on the other side of us fully exposing all that we are.
So many of us live in a constant state of rejecting ourselves. Denying our truth.
All of us are raised with a myriad of beliefs that are not true at all. We then take those beliefs and become certain as we take them into our adult lives. We experience discomfort, confusion, and agitation as we attract undesirable things into our lives.
I’ll give you an example of little Natalie.
When I was younger, I thought Santa Clause was real while all the kids in the neighborhood were dedicated to telling me the truth. That this mystical magic man was not the one bringing me my lavish gifts at Christmas time.
I was so rooted in my belief, no neighborhood kid was going to tell me otherwise. One year I got my pink light-up bike from Santa. Boy did he deliver. I pressed this button on the handlebars and the stars along the frame lit up in pink lights. It was magical. I loved my new bike, it became my prized possession. The neighborhood kids, however, were dedicated to telling me this bike wasn’t magical at all. This bike was from my parents because Santa isn’t real.
I was so rooted in truth, and this year I let them know it!
“Santa is real because there is NO WAY my parents couldn’t afford a bike like this.” I proclaimed.
My belief was rooted in certainty based on my belief that we were poor.
I believed more in an overweight stranger coming down my chimney and giving me a light-up bike more than I thought my parents could afford something this lavish.
Now, I want to follow up this story with the fact that I was very fortunate. I had it good. I was never worried about my next meal, health care, or anything else I needed. My parents took very good care of my brother and me always.
However, the conversations and the actions that flooded my childhood mind and home were that we were indeed poor.
I felt at any time that the things we had in our home could get taken away. It felt like doomsday was coming and the reality is that we were indeed in no danger at all.
But I believed it, I carried it and felt it in my body.
You see how our stories and beliefs run our thoughts and how we ultimately live our lives?
Beliefs are power.
Along with my belief of Santa was a rooted belief that my inherent worth was attached to money and what I was deserving of.
Since my story supported that money was incredibly unstable and meant for “others,” it made it nearly impossible for me to believe that I too was worthy of money, ease, or stability.
Unknowingly, I resisted thoughts, beliefs, and actions that would create a stable income because I had aligned myself with a truth that didn’t support peace, ease, and worthiness of income.
I believed It had to be hard for me. I believed it was somehow okay or understandable for other people to drive nice cars, go on nice vacations, or buy a glass of wine without a feeling of intense guilt. But for me, that was just out of the question!
Most often we are not aware of our habitual patterns that create these core beliefs. So we repeat them over and over again and bathe in frustration because change feels impossible.
Which is when we don’t meet ourselves with radical honesty to prove our old beliefs wrong.
When limiting beliefs fog your ability to receive what everyone on this earth is worthy of, it makes learning how to love yourself an extremely daunting task.
So how do you change your entire world for the better?
You start with being willing to change the belief, first.
This means that you have to lean into the unknown and accept that there is another way to live this beautiful life of yours. Which is scary alone. This is why I surround myself with mentors and coaches of my own. We get to lead and be led.
It can be fun.
The choice is within you, to choose to see this beautiful world through the eyes of potentiality and growth.
Two like-minded, soul-driven, authentic souls are always greater than one.
I want you to know deep in my heart that it gets to be different for you. You get to choose to be the observer of your life and grant yourself space and a new perspective. If you believe it can be different, then it will be.
Now just because my worthiness and limiting belief system was attached to money, that doesn’t mean that's where your limiting beliefs come from.
These belief attachment babies can be hidden in the trickiest of places! It’s like the missing Tupperware lids. You’ll find them in the most mysterious places!
This is where you give yourself permission and a willingness to be wrong about everything that hasn’t served you thus far!
You get to be wrong!
Like totally, completely just off the mark! Like you missed it by a long shot!
This also gets to be so freaking exciting because you can create an entirely new reality for your life!
I’ll walk you through how I process and practice new belief systems and how I learned to ultimately love myself.
I’ll start with another story. I look back in hindsight to driving my broken-down jeep liberty on a 90-degree humid day on my 45-minute commute to a gym with no AC.
I thought back then that I didn’t need a new car. So I drove to work with the chronic stress of when the next breakdown was going to hit. My girlfriend from the gym said she thought of me when she was purchasing a new motorcycle. Her bike was stolen and she was commuting on foot. She leaned back and told herself she was worthy of the investment and the alignment it would bring in her life. Life will keep bringing you lessons until you embody and learn them.
Okay, back to my old jeep beliefs.
-Old belief: I don’t need a new car and I can handle the constant life disruption, spending the money was a waste.
-New belief: Alignment with my willingness to accept that I deserve peace and ease in my life. This investment to increase my quality of life will get me to my destination, releasing worry and stress that is good for me and every human I interact with.
I want you to look at a belief you can disprove and see how investing in a new belief can change your life.
Look back in Hindsight now.
When I took a step back I could realize that this had nothing to do with the money in the first place. When it came down to it, I had enough money for a new car, but I wouldn’t allow myself to receive anything more than what I “needed.”
I viewed investing in things other than survival as selfish, unnecessary, and frivolous.
It all comes down to worthiness and what we allow ourselves to have. Recognizing this meant I had to willingly change my beliefs. This meant allowing myself to be wrong about my perceptions and limiting beliefs.
New supporting narrative.
I get to have a new car because I desire a new car. I am allowed to spend money on myself because money is not tied to my worth. I deserve peace of mind and stability and I don’t have to work a certain amount or earn a certain amount to claim that.
With my clientele, I often see self-imposed limitations and belief systems manifest in different ways.
Check in with yourself and see if any of these relate to you. I want to remind you that none of this makes you bad or broken. There is nothing wrong with you and you have always been worthy of receiving beautiful things.
This may be triggering, but is meant to open up a whole new world of possibility for you. It feels kinda horrible being wrong at first, you have this moment where you realize life could have been easier if you saw through this lens the whole time. I get it, I just want to remind you that these painful moments of recognition get to become your power. The faster you accept your current reality and perceptions, the faster you release the need to fight them. This will empower you beyond belief.
It’s all adding up for you, closer or further away from your goals.
It’s not waiting, it’s acting in alignment and celebrating every time you choose to think thoughts, create new beliefs, and act in ways that bring you more peace and ease into your life.
You have magic within you, and this is you learning how to love yourself.
You get to be wrong and you get to be every bit of that beautiful soul of yours.
Invest in your future and the present truth will become a gift.
I’m sending you so much love you, beautiful soul!
If you love conversations like this I would love to see you on my YouTube channel!
Watch and Subscribe below!
NATALIE DIANE KIMBALL
Hello, my beautiful soul!
After you read this blog in its entirety, I hope you learn how to be more confident in yourself, your relationships, and most importantly, who you are.
I see a lot of people, especially women, that think they will be confident when:
But, and there’s a bit ol’ BUT……
Undeniable, unshakable, traffic-stopping, radiating confidence comes from... the inside.
So, that's why we can’t rely on confidence from anyone else other than ourselves.
Our internal dialogue, the belief around worthiness, and how sexy we are is based on us.
And that’s a good thing.
Simply because every single thing in our external world is outside of our control.
But you know what is in our control? What we let inside.
What we give context, meaning, and a story.
We choose what provides value and what’s a projection of someone else’s insecurities.
This intense next level of confidence I’m talking about is divinely guided in owning who we are to our very core.
In this blog, we’re going to walk that divine walk to the exploration of how to create that from within.
How to be more confident in yourself: Traffic Stopping Edition.
Hear me when I say this.
You are allowed to want, desire, and yearn more for your life than what you have right now.
You, in this very moment, can decide that you are done settling and that you are beyond worthy of all that you desire.
You can decide right now that you are going to start attracting more of what you want into your life.
This will give you the clarity to gain the courage to step into the unknown, the courage necessary to move forward in your life, even when it feels messy, chaotic, and hard.
The kind of courage that says no matter what my desire to feel confident deserves more energy than me convincing myself I should receive anything less.
You can decide you deserve it all. Because you do.
We have limited amounts of energy and we have to stop spending it on things that drag us down.
I did anything and everything in my power to shift what my body looked like to attract what I thought I wanted in my life.
And guess what? Every time I hit a milestone, I still wanted to know how to be more confident.
I was a 16-year-old girl, 110 pounds with a 6-pack, and when I looked in the mirror I saw all that I was not. I would run miles around the YMCA track and look at the scale after to see if I lost any “weight.”
Can we all say WTF together?
It sounds looney tunes and ridiculous, but this phenomenon is not unique. We see ourselves through a lens of who we perceive ourselves to be, not who we are. We look at the physical bodies we have in this world and judge it until we decide enough is enough.
My confidence in myself fluctuated based on the number on the scale. This is what happens when we look externally for someone or something to tell us we’re worthy. Until I got curious about building my confidence and self-esteem and moving past my limiting beliefs, I felt stuck.
It started with Tony Robbins CDs that I played on my boombox and has transformed into radical coaching, programs, and empowerment experiences I lead today.
I see the most vivacious, beautiful, radiant women playing to their past instead of their potential…
The woman who thinks the man, the job, the body, and the Chanel bag will bring her the confidence to walk into any room is sadly mistaken.
It’s just not true.
Just like me stepping on the scale as a young teen, these things can fluctuate and change.
When us boss babes lean on these external things to bring us validation, we lose. We lose every time.
Want to hear the beautiful solution?
The power already exists wildly inside you.
You hold the potentiality to grasp on to the woman you are becoming.
Here are some tips from my Confidence Program.
1. You have to OWN IT. So how do you own it when you don’t have all the confidence in the world?
You create a flawless focus. Beyonce has one, why can’t you?
Beyonce’s version is Sasha Fierce.
Do you ever wonder how Beyonce shows up like a freaking BOSS every single performance? She has a Flawless Focus. A woman she embodies when she’s not feeling like the top of the world queen that we all are.
If you’re thinking like well… yeah, she’s Beyonce, she’s different. I’m here to ask you. HOW DO YOU THINK SHE GOT THAT WAY? She owns it, she embodies it. When she doesn’t feel like it, she envisions it.
2. You have to stop resisting how rare you are.
Be willing to let go of beliefs and thoughts that don’t serve you.
You have to gain a clear vision of how you have been resisting your evolution.
Everyone gets in their way when leaning into the unknown of who they are creating.
There will be plenty of people who tell you that you can’t along the way.
Releasing this resistance will allow you to create your dream version of yourself.
You do this by proving yourself wrong, interrupting the cycle, taking different actions to embody different beliefs and become a different woman.
I used to have large money blocks, I thought that I had to work hard and grind for hours on end. I used to be very bad at receiving or charging higher prices for work I created. This all stemmed from old limiting beliefs I aligned to as a child
Discipline leads to desires. Do you want to know how to be more attractive?
Honor your word from the inside out.
-Take time to learn what disciplines you need to implement to lead you to your ultimate desires. This is about becoming and embodying the woman you dream of so that your daily disciplines support the desires you are creating in your life.
-Practice releasing limiting beliefs, putting yourself first, and stop comparing yourself to others. This is for you and no one else.
3. Do it scared.
I waited ten years until I was ready to move to my dream city of sunny San Diego. Ten, freaking, painful years of staying small. Ten years of dulling my potentiality. Ten years to tell you it’s not worth waiting. The time will pass and you will wish you would have invested in yourself.
Almost all of my clients, myself included, are waiting until we better ourselves before we invest in something. Lean into the expansive fear of the unknown over the fear of the known.
You know what it’s like to want to learn how to be more attractive, but have you ever really stepped on the other side? Have you ever really dove straight into the fear of your potentiality?
All in. No questions asked.
Always do it scared.
I welcome you to learn more about how to embody the confident woman who exists wildly inside of you.
Natalie Diane Kimball
"There's greatness within all of us, we just have to believe it."
Learn how to let go of the past and how to be confident in yourself with my 4 top tips from my 12-week experience the Best-Kept-Secret.
I’m going to start with a story of what shaped me at the beginning of my journey.
When I started as an entrepreneur I had no clue what I was doing.
I moved 3,000 miles away from home and all that I knew was I wanted to start a business that empowered women. But, the truth was, I didn’t move for me or my business. I moved for a man.
Now don’t get this story twisted, he was and is a FANTASTIC human being. But him being an amazing human didn’t change the fact that I was sacrificing everything I desired for my life.
Day by day I was losing myself. I didn’t realize it at the time but in hindsight, I can see it so clearly.
I can see through the breakdowns, the anger of him being gone, and the resentment that started to build within my body.
Even though I was losing who I was, my mission to empower every single woman I came into contact with didn’t change.
I saw these parallels with a lot of the women I worked with. Leading their families and sacrificing what made them such beautiful women.
I spent endless nights crying in my self-made garage gym wondering what it was all for? Why was I putting myself through so much pain, what was the purpose?
My negative self-talk got louder as I lost my self-trust.
Setting boundaries wasn’t even in the cards for me back then. I had no self-trust. I literally would bend over backward for just about anyone to make sure they still liked me.
I was more concerned about everyone else’s mental and emotional health. And me? Well, I was just an afterthought, the last thing on my to-do list.
A lot of us lack self-trust and are consumed with negative self-talk simply because we were never taught otherwise.
If you’re anything like I was years back you may be wondering why you’re attracting the wrong clients, why people don’t respect you or love you exactly as you are.
One of my many Best Kept Secrets was when I started setting boundaries in my life.
I see so many women missing this.
Setting boundaries in your business and life will build better quality relationships in all parts of your life.
Let’s start with this, I’m just going to come out and say this because I hear this too often.
Setting boundaries does not make you a B****.
Okay? Did you get that?
It makes you a bad-ass boss (this is where I’m clapping), there’s a difference.
Do you think Beyonce has boundaries?
That’s what I thought……..
If you desire to be confident with yourself you have to have the self-trust to establish bold boundaries.
Now let’s get to the good stuff.
Four of the top tips straight from my Best-Kept-Secret experience.
1. Setting boundaries is the foundation for self-trust.
You have to learn your non-negotiables and implement them. Everyone’s non-negotiables are different and that’s the best part! One of the reasons that you have negative self-talk is because you set a boundary and then you break it. Over and over again. Example. My boundary with my business is that my clients keep their appointment times weekly. If they cannot make their appointment they know they need to re-schedule at least 24 hours in advance.
So what happens if a client cancels their appointment 20 minutes before? They lose their session. This does not make me a B**** this makes me a boss.
I get it. it’s hard because as women we care SO MUCH! The thing is when you bend these rules people will start to take advantage of them and you will start resenting the other people. This is the same in romantic relationships. You set the standard for the way you want things to operate.
You see, If I bend, I know that I will feel resentful towards my clients for “wasting” my time. I will feel taken advantage of for always bending the rules. My clients will also learn that they can do whatever they want when they want, which in turn, they will lose respect for me.
The beautiful part about this is you get to set what your life rules are! There are no right or wrong answers. You get to choose your foundational boundaries.
2. Learning how to let go will free you in more ways than you can imagine.
It’s not fun or easy but letting go of the flakey friend who never calls you back frees up a lot of mental and emotional energy.
The same thing goes for the guy that left you on read. Or the client that said they would sign up or book but never did. It’s no fun but it’s so necessary.
Learning how to let go is claiming a new standard for your life. Learning to be okay with what stays and what goes is a practice.
You can practice this by stating your needs or boundaries and playing out the potential outcomes ahead of time. Have a consultation with a client? Start to find peace with the fact they may or may not book. Tell your friend your boundary and they don’t show up the way you want? Coolio! That’s okay because now you know!
Practicing the outcome ahead of time is a beautiful practice so you are not shocked at the response when it happens in real-time!
3. Navigating negative self-talk comes with kindness.
In my coaching practice, I call the negative mind that comes up the she-hulk. When she comes in claiming that you’re not good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough you kindly comfort her. Many people try and fight the negative self-talk but it never works. If you think of comforting your she hulk with kindness and compassion things will start to shift. Hold her, speak to her gently and her temper tantrums will subside. Just like a small child, you wouldn’t say HEY! You're worthless. Right? Treat your inner she-hulk the same way.
Now we’re going to bring it all together…..
4. Establishing self-trust comes and bold boundaries comes from implementing all of the above 3 principles.
To learn how to be confident in yourself you must be able to reverse engineer what it means to establish self-trust.
When you start to implement these few principles alone you will start to find your life radically shifting.
I want you to know so deep in my heart that if you are looking to up-level or empower yourself in any of these areas, you are not alone. I’ve coached so many powerful business owners, entrepreneurs, and empowered women to know that these versions of us live within all of us.
If you desire to collapse time on your empowerment I would love for you to apply for my
Best-Kept-Secret. (linked below!)
This is about you becoming the strong, independent, self-loving confident woman you can be!
This one-one and group coaching experience have radically transformed my life in more ways than I can count. This is one of those programs that you will wish you would have taken sooner.
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With more love than you know what to do with,
Natalie Diane Kimball
My mission is to bring like minded women together who empower one another.
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The power of choice sets the tone of our life.
The power of choice opens up our minds to new possibility to reframe really crappy life circumstances to learning experiences.
Reframing enables us to practice gratitude and find joy in the present moment and OWN our own life.
Knowing that this reframing and reprogramming our mind to be better all lies on us can be really scary and almost paralyzing.
Wether we sink or swim it’s all on us. Taking complete ownership means we accept our actions and reactions and CHOOSE to actively be better.
While I can sit here and tell you all the magical ways and non magical ways reframing tools have worked for me I can’t tell you what reframing technique will work best for you.
Because we are all so different and we all view the world differently because of our past and present experiences. Which is amazing because we are all rare gems 💎 but it also doesn’t make it the easiest because there’s no step- by- step guide on being the best you.
What I can tell you though is that our mindset is everything. When you have an emotion, let yourself feel it, be aware of why you’re feeling the emotion, don’t put yourself down for feeling human emotions (that’s weird-huh? How we feel bad for feeling bad 😔.) It’s a double edge sword 🗡
1) I personally can attest that the double feel bad method does not work! 🙅🏽♀️ So the answer is to show up without ridicule and the process. The answer may be that there's nothing you're supposed to do right now other than- not double judging yourself.
2) If you’ve mastered the not double judging- lean into observation without judgement. (If you’ve made it this step! You are killin it!! 🙌🏼)
3) Once you’ve mastered observation without judgement really lean into reframing your current thoughts.
4)Once you’ve reframed your current thoughts start acting with implementation. As much as saying things is cool (like I’m gonna workout 🏋🏻♀️ 5 days a week and build all the muscle 💪🏼 it only works if you put in the work.) So get to it and tag me because I love seeing you all thrive. (@nataliekfitness)
5) If you’re still feeling all the feels this may be a time for you to really dig deep. In the depth of your soul and the aloneness sine we rarely take this time for ourselves. (This is a step 🙋🏽♀️ I am currently taking say hi if you’re with me.)
The thing is- there is so much input, so much insight and such amazing information. There is also a lot of 💩 information out there that can lead us to believe we should be doing things that we really don’t enjoy or frankly give a flying f about.
This can lead us to constantly feel in-clear because we haven’t defined what WE want, what WE need and how we’re going to take action on it in our lives.
Uncovering all this is like diving head first in a dumpster full of everyone else’s trash and walking around town after expecting to be clean.
Take it from me, you should go take the shower and get clean and clear on yourself without everyone else’s stench clinging to you. 🗑 To wrap this bad boy up. I hope you take the time to relax, enjoy and discover what makes you, you.
You don’t have to know exactly what that looks like today because there’s 500 million and 35 steps but if you take one step today on getting to know you, you will be that much closer every day. And who knows maybe one day you’ll start jogging and be covering more ground.
Just be kind- know your worth- and take that time to reflect on how much you’ve grown and steer clear of bathing in the trash.
If this resonates with you in the slightest please share and comment.
I love hearing from YOU. For any women looking for online guidance that meets your exact lifestyle- no fad diets, no unattainable goals just REAL CHANGE to be exactly what YOU want to be. Please apply for our VIP coaching program. We are stronger together 💎 💪🏼
Mater Trainer and Fitness Nutrition Specialist
These moves are amazing to start out your booty workout or as a whole workout itself!
Perform each exercise back-to-back with no rest period for maximum results!
2. Glute Bridge
3. Negative Body Weight Squat
4. Reverse Lunge
Don't forget to tag us on social!
Master Trainer and Fitness Nutrition Specialist
***For December Challengers to be eligible for prizes you must show completion of the challenge and tag Natalie on your Instagram or facebook post!****
In order to achieve, grow and be “successful” we have to accept that life isn’t going to be easy.
At many points in our lives we will be bombarded with with trying times, obstacles and barriers that inhibit us from reaching goals the way we want to.
We often picture the route to success as rainbows and sunshine but its usually sleet, snow, hail storms, a week of beautiful sunshine, a tornado, then sunshine. The cycle of highs and lows will present itself over and over again, but with growth we start learning along the way and pack an umbrella and learn to use shelter when needed.
In those hard times, it's an opportunity to give ourselves grace and the opportunity to learn and once we come out of it. We can then use those tools to tackle a similar issues with a little more insight on how to solve it.
What helps most of us with trying times is the belief that if we work hard, consistently learn and apply ourselves things will get better. It is having faith that what we go through we grow through, but that all comes with putting in the work.
On the flip side if we believe we can’t do something, then we already have already decided our fate.
We have given ourselves an out.
If we actually believe we can overcome the obstacles to reach our goal, then we will be successful.
We have to make a daily effort to be the best we can in the present moment. We have to act out the systems and procedures we know to our heart to be true and listen and implement the advice our coaches, mentors give us.
Once you think you might “try out” personal training, clean eating or for any instance any lifestyle change you put yourself at a disadvantage, you have given yourself, the out.
For drastic change you have to have the believe that no matter what, you’re going to make it happen.
Plain and Simple.
You have to create your future because there is no other option. You know that success is not just a walk down the yellow brick road skipping with todo in your ruby red shoes. It's the walk down the yellow brick road with people telling you that you're not good enough, the witch trying to destroy you and all your family and your friends falling apart all along the way.
Simply put, it isn't easy.
No one can tell us how life will work out or when the good things will come. No one can tell us how hard it will be or all the roadblocks that will come up in our personal lives. It is all about our individual process and our willingness to put in the work day in and day out. We all have our own struggles. We all have our own heart aches.
But that road of belief becomes a little bit more clear when you have a community and guidance.
Find your belief, find your community and become all that you have ever imagined.
Start with the belief and you will be amazed at the opportunities that unfold.
Master Trainer & Fitness Nutrition Specialist